The Ugly Truth 2

I finally watched the movie " The Ugly Truth". Although there are some "sexual terms" used or hinted in the movie which I believe are indeed explicit and at times make people bit uncomfortable, the movie itself is really funny and humorous; and not to mention the insights in relationships which make it even more interesting.

Foremost, it seems to indicate that one should enter a relationship by simply being yourself. In the movie, the female leading actress started to enter a relationship with the handsome doctor neighbour. But she was not being her normal self when she was dating him. She was simply "pretending" to be someone self. Pretending that she was not a control freak. Always being so elegant and calm. As such, the handsome doctor neighbour was eventually "in love" with someone who was not actually her. And in the end she realised she actually preferred to have someone who loved the real her.

Secondly, there might not be any specific reason why people fall in love. While people might have checklists to start with, but eventually I guess what people wanted to be with is someone who they are comfortable with and could accept who they really are.

Thirdly, I guess what the female leading actress said is rather true. Many women believe that men are like those portrayed in novels - heroic and will not run away from reality. But in the reality that might not always be the truth. And maybe that is the reason why men are always portrayed as hero and the perfect lover in novels or drama series. Because that is the dream of every woman. Because if people want to read the truth, they will be reading news and not novels! =P

So throw away all the guidebooks in relationships and start seeing the real truth - which is of course not pretty... haha...

TODAY

Saw the advertisement on tv the other day...
Couldn't remember the exact wordings...
But there's a para in the advertisement... and I find it very interesting and true...

Today is not yesterday, as the past has passed.
Today is not tomorrow, unless you know time travel.
Today is today.

Today is a day we should cherish.
We should not keep postponing the things till tomorrow as we're not sure what happens next, unless we know the future or time travel.
Today is today.

今年过年的禁忌

(Just for laughter and fun....)

今年过年的禁忌还真不少叻好像只剩"恭喜发财"可以讲了
财源滚滚~裁员滚滚
招财进宝~遭裁禁饱
万事如意~万市如忆
心想事成~薪饷四成
鸿图大展~红屠大斩
财源广进~裁员广尽
还有不要喝!!仙草蜜<先炒..me!!!>

Life....

Life is sometimes strange. Because there are too many "whys" and unexplainable things. If there's a reason for everything, why then do some people born in poverty and live in slums? But there're people born in riches? Why are some people destined to die in the terrorist bombings and some people destined to be the survivors?

I watched the Channel 8 "Life Transformers" show and I realised indeed there are no clear "whys" in life. Maybe the only reason or explanation is karma or it's fate.

Inside the real-life story, this old man has a very untidy house, stacked with things. It seemed to be more of a rubbish dump than a normal house for living within. He earned money from repairing old things. He doesn't cook as gas is too expensive. He had a mentally ill wife, depressed daughter and mentally slow son living with him. He had 3 daughters and 2 sons. But 2 of his daughters committed sucide by jumping off the building. The 1st daughter (his youngest) committed sucide and he did not know the reason. Maybe it's because her husband didn't work and live off her? Maybe she was being forced?

The middle daughter committed sucide as her friend borrowed $8000 from her and ran off without paying, and she was being retrenched at the same time. She only had 1 daughter and her daughter had no father as she left her "husband" since she could not tolerate her mother-in-law.

After his 2 daughters committed sucide, his wife, daughter and son all became mentally depressed (or worsen conditions) that they just stayed at home, dwelling on the past. His middle son also left home for Indonesia to work and he didn't hear from him. And he is now the sole breadwinner and he's already 70+. He said sometimes he wanted to commit sucide as he's feeling upset over his daughters' deaths and the things that turn out, but the only thing he's still alive is because his family depends on him. In the show "Life Transformers" the only thing people can help is to tidy his house and make his living conditions better.

It's then I remembered a drama show. Inside the female cast said she hopes she is the one who can offer a helping hand, instead of being the recipient. Because it means she's fortunate enough as she could lend a helping hand and is able to do so....

Wish that everyone be able to help another... and never despair over obstacles faced. Because there'll always exist another who needs our help more...

那些好命女不告訴妳的事

Thanks to a friend, saw this website and found this rather interesting.
Cannot say I agree with all of these... but I guess could provoke some thoughts in people...
Who knows this might be a good guide! haha...

But I think Guide No. 29 is true... according to friends with past experience... haha

Extracted from:
http://www.kingstone.com.tw/Book/book_page.asp?kmcode=2015440378952&show=content&OpenArea=1

那些好命女不告訴妳的事
作　　者：羅夫曼


第一篇　好命女的〔想法〕和妳不一樣

01.當他忘了重要日子，也是一件好事
02.當他犯了不該犯的錯，才能看出他的弱點
03.當他生氣或抗議，背後必然有原因
04.當他不想回家，不等於外面比家裡溫暖
05當他酗酒或沉迷線上遊戲，代表他想逃避現實
06.當他無理取鬧，可能是有些事不方便說
07.當他堅持己見、一意孤行，內心必然有很大的恐懼
08.當他連動都不想動，可能是在低潮期
09.當他家事做不好，代表他依賴心太重
10.當他說謊時，代表他很怕失去妳
11.當他處處要比妳強勢，代表他沒安全感

第二篇　好命女絕不會做的傻事

12.吵架時，把他和郭台銘梁朝偉做比較
13.吵架時，把五千年前的飯一再重炒
14.吵架時，拚命說「那你想怎麼樣？」
15.把他的「兄弟」當成人渣或垃圾
16.把他的「嗜好」當成罪惡
17.把他的「累」當成不在乎妳
18.把他的「錢」當成玩具鈔票
19.吵架時，把他的瘡疤挖出來
20.吵架時，連他的祖宗八代都罵

第三篇　女人要好命，就應該這樣做

21.凡事先站在他的立場，為他著想
22.在眾人面前，必須顧及他的面子
23.男人的胃舒服，他的脾氣自然好
24.男人身上錢夠用，才會有自信
25.當他脆弱時，可以把妳當褓姆
26.每天至少花十分鐘，傾聽他的心事
27.晚上十點後，盡量別和男性朋友講電話
28.千萬不要考驗他的忠誠度
29.他下班才進門時，別急著和他講大道理附錄

Some thoughts to share

Received email on this poem from a friend.
She love this poem as she finds it meaningful:

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Veronica A. Shoffstall

We especially like this phrase (as usual we like the same things =P):

" so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."

I guess to me regardless of Man or Woman, we've to love ourselves first.
Instead of just waiting for people to love us.
If we do not even love ourselves, how do we expect to love other people?
How do we expect other people to love us too?
Of course... by loving ourselves doesn't mean we've to be too arrogant...
haha... no one is perfect too...

Find my thoughts confusing? No need to be... cos you're reading a typical Gemini's blog...
Cheers... and have a nice day to all... =)

散文 - 张小娴

我喜爱张小娴的散文.
感谢郑先生(在星期六时)借我的散文集<<收不起的思念>>.
特别喜爱以下这篇散文:

一个爱你的男人 - 张小娴

要知道一个男人爱不爱你，那还不容易吗?
爱你的那个人会给你尊严。
什么样的尊严?他让你觉得自己高贵。
他让你觉得你在他的世界里是最重要的。
你的地位不会排在他的事业之后。
他不会要你每天等他的电话,
却从来不说什么时候会打来，也不说会不会打来。
约会之后，他不会放心你独个儿回家。
不管已经多晚，也不管你往得多远，他会陪你走那段回去的路。
他不会让你总是孤怜怜地等他回家。
他不会认为你的工作比不上他的工作重要。
他肯定你的工作能力，支持你为梦想奋斗。
他不介意常常要等你下班等到很晚。
他不会要你为他放弃工作。
他不可以忍受他的朋友批评你和对你不好。
他会跟这些朋友绝交。
他不会在你面前盯着另一个女人看，
也不会对着你不停称赞另一个女人的美貌和智慧。
上床之后，他不会要你出去买点东西回来给他吃。
上床之后，他不会赶忙穿上裤子回家去。
他让你相信，你是他今生最幸福的际遇。
他把悲伤留给自己，把痴心留给你。

PS: 也感谢神秘人帮我输入这些华文词语.
因为他知道我输入华文词语速度超慢.
他又再次让我感动.

Courage To Love

Thought of writing about "Courage to Love" in Chinese.
But the Chinese software is really giving me issues.
Hopefully I'm able to translate my thoughts into English accurately...

Recently went to meet up with various friends.
Through conversations, I've discovered that we've all somehow changed.
In one way or another.
In the past, our attitudes and mentality towards love were somewhat different.
We might be afraid then. But not as afraid as now.

Perhaps it's our mentality on refusal to lose.
Perhaps we've subconsciously regarded that a failure in love means failure in life.
Perhaps we feel we're no longer young.

Somehow we've forgotten the simple joys we experience when we fall in love.
Is it because we have matured over the time?
Or is it because we think and rationalise too much that we've become more complex?

Love requires courage.
Because somehow someone needs to make the first step.
And time awaits for no man.
Even if failure awaits, at least there's no regrets in years to come.

In my view, the worst in life about love is not the rejection or failure faced.
Because there's confirmation and closure in the relationship.
The worst is that two persons love each other and yet still fail to come together due to a lack of courage.
Because regrets will await when the truth prevails.

Wish all my friends success in love.

I've always liked this song. Love to sing this in KTV:

勇气 By 梁静茹

终于作了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定 我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易 我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃 爱真的需要勇气 来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定 我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你 放在我手心里 你的真心
如果我的坚强任性 会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒 我虽然心太急 更害怕错过你

下雨天

不知为何,下雨天总是让我感到有点伤感.
或许是我因为我喜爱阳光,怕冷的关系吧.

我不喜爱在雨中撑伞.
即使是与情人在雨中漫步.
因为我注重健康多过于浪漫.
担心他是否为会因此而着凉生病.

在雨天,我会僮憬自己像电视剧的情结一般,
坐在咖啡厅与情人一起喝着热咖啡.
望出那朦胧的窗外,看着人群撑伞的点滴.
因为他的双手像热咖啡一般会带给我温暖.

在雨天独自一人时,我喜爱窝在床上阅读小说.
特别喜爱张小娴的散文.
因为她用简短的散文表达了现今都市男女的爱情心态.
因为我在她的散文里感受到她即使看透了很多事,
她还是选择相信爱情及承诺.

让我与你分享她的一些感触吧:

(散文: 一直都等你)
女人最伟大的行为, 莫过於为一个男人蹉跎岁月.
男人最放心不下的, 是有一个女人一直在等他.


(散文: 男人在早餐说的话)
是女人的爱情令女人忠心, 却不是男人的爱情令男人忠心.
令男人忠心的,不是爱, 而是义.


(散文: 困着我)
爱是在我浪蕩之后, 最想回去的地方.
爱是在我自由自在的时侯, 心里最牵掛的人.
爱是他放手, 他纵容, 我却不肯远走天涯, 甘愿受困.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I never thought I will enjoy the course.

When I first heard the name of the course, I thought it must be a boring, but maybe useful course? Yes there's positive feedback about the course. But hmm, I'm still rather skeptical about it.

I was surprised when I actually like the course and find it so meaningful. I guess a major reason is because I love the lecturer. She kept the training entertaining by her funny comments and interesting and sad stories she had seen from her counselling experience. A few times, tears welled up at my eyes and I've to control myself very hard not to let them roll down my face when I heard her recite the sad experiences of her patients.

Due to this course, I start to re-think and re-discover about myself. E.g. Who am I? What is the meaning of life? What is the principle I will use to guide my life?

My answer will be courage.
I want to have the courage to overcome all challenges in life.
I want to have the courage to pursue my own happiness.
I want to have the courage to say goodbye to all the unhappy memories in the past and say hi to the happy events entering my life.

Also, I start to re-learn to listen. To know how to listen to friends.
Sometimes what they need is understanding. It might not necessarily be advice.
They need us to look at their problems from their eyes, their perspective.
Because only when we're able to do that, we could truly understand their problems and connect with them. And they will feel they're not alone in the deserts. We might be the oasis that they have been searching all along in the.

Just to share some interesting insights learnt from the course:

(1) The results we GET in life depend on what we DO.
What we DO in life depends on how we SEE the world around us.

(2) When we can no longer change a situation, we're challenged to change ourselves

(3) To my mind, empathy is in itself a healing agent... because it releases, it confirms, it brings even the most frightened person into the human race. If a person is understood, he or she belongs.

(4) Whenever there is a desert, there must be an oasis somewhere

I guess everyone must be thinking, so what are the 7 Habits?

1) Be Proactive (Concentrate on positive behaviour)
2) Begin with the end in mind (Have the goal in mind)
3) Put first things first (Prioritize)
4) Think win-win
5) Seek first to understand then to be understood
6) Synergize (Value the differences and create the synergy with teamwork)
7) Sharpen the saw (Renew self in physical, mental, social and spiritual dimensions)

What I want for my Funeral...

Few weeks ago, I was rather sick and feeling so terrible and sianz that I actually engaged in a discussion on funeral with s[l]ow. Of course being a kind soul and good friend, s[l]ow actually bothers to “entertain” me on this topic. Thanks s[l]ow! Oh and yes I’ll attend your funeral (if I’m still alive then) and remember that you want all white flowers and something green (how about ferns instead of grass) for your funeral! =P

In the past, I believe funeral might be considered a taboo topic. However, as I grow older and matured, or rather more open-minded with all the travels to countries like Cambodia and Vietnam, I realized that life is rather transient. Nobody knows what will happen in the next moment. Hence, should a day come for my funeral; I hope I will like to have a lot of flowers there with me. I rather like lilies and especially tulips (though they seldom last as long as roses).

Perhaps majority of the flowers could be white. But I will also like to have some yellow and maybe pink flowers too as I love yellow and pink. And a few more colours might make the funeral less somber. (Anyway I guess my request still pales in comparison to G’s request for guests wearing pink! =p )

So thanks my friends, please note the above when you all are attending my funeral. Also, I’m ok with karaoke singing there as long as the singing is not too lousy for my “hearing”. =)

Anyway, when I told G about the flowers I like for my funeral, I was rather enlightened by her reply then. She said that she loves white roses. However, aside from the funeral time, she hopes to receive the white roses now when she’s alive. In that instant I realized that since life is transient, if we are really interested in something now, we should not keep thinking that we could wait and do it in the future when we could actually do them now…

But I guess as usual there’s a problem since I’m still not exactly sure what I want. Sigh…

Anyway at least there’s one thing I know I want. Dear SJJJ members, please continue your tradition of flowers on my next birthday. Thanks girls!

Some flower language to note:
Lily (white) – purity
Lily of the Valley - Sweetness, Return to Happiness
Rose( white) - Eternal Love ; innocence;
Rose(Yellow) - Friendship
Rose(light pink) - Desire, passion, joy of life, youth, energy
Tulip(yellow) - There's Sunshine in Your Smile
Baby's Breath - Everlasting Love
Fern - Magic, Fascination, Confidence and Shelter

Forgive yourself...

Thanks to my sister, I had to go to my forgotten yahoo a/c and happened to come across this article in a newsletter from U-Elites’ Martial Fitness, which I find the extracted statement very meaningful and will like to share with all:

“Forgive the person who hurt you and most importantly, forgive yourself! Thing happened cannot be forgotten easily, but we can choose to forgive. Appreciate anything that come into our life and always maintain a calm and cheerful mind. You will soon notice that life is so much fun and meaningful.”

Isn’t it true that we often forgive other people but not ourselves? As a result in one way or another, we are trapped somehow in the past since we cannot forgive ourselves for our actions at the point of time. We might even start to think what will happen otherwise if we don’t behave in this way or if we behave in another way. However, the truth is there’s no way we could ever return to the past.

All man made mistakes, and that includes you and me. If we have never made mistakes before, how will we know what we should cherish now? What we should be thinking is what we have learnt from the mistakes or regrets in life and then forgive ourselves, learn from the mistake and move on with our lives.

Hope everyone can understand the essence of it and try to put into practice no matter how long and difficult it can be. I believe happiness is always within our reach.

喜欢电影<宋家皇朝>:
宋庆龄弥留之际，老仆人忍不住问到：“夫人，如果孙先生不是那么早逝世，中国的历史会一样吗？” 宋庆龄惘然答曰：如果？历史没有如果……

得有人说<历史就是许多人的人生。历史没有如果，人生亦没有如果。谁都不可能从头来过>
但是我们可以前进走向未来。

Some Tips To Improve Mood...! Part II

To continue from previous listing...

4) Travel overseas for short/ long trips for fun … this could certainly helps one to improve mood and might even broaden your perspective in life at times!

5) Talk your problems out to a confidant you could trust and relate ~ because you never know when a solution might appear from the confiding talk! You could also try to talk to people from opposite sexes since different genders might have different perspectives in the issues. Well there’s always saying that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus =)

6) Calm down and Rationalise ~
a. Is the issue so important that it should really make you so upset?
b. Does being upset resolve the problem?
c. Should we concentrate on thinking on the solution instead?
If not, then let's SMILE! You look more handsome / pretty this way!

Hmm... as I write about travel, I'm thinking about travelling again...
haha... I know many will say "Again" or that "I thought you said you are not travelling again so soon?"
Haha but this time my travelling should be tied with diving, as I intend to learn diving before December this year.
So if anyone has any recommendations on credible / good Diving Schools, pls tell me!

Feeling unhappy? Some Tips To Improve Mood...! Part I

I believe perhaps I laugh too much in office. Last week, my colleague actually asked me what will make me unhappy? I was stunned for a moment then. Honestly I was more surprised myself when I answered "Hmm.. when I'm hungry or sick, I will feel unhappy." haha... thinking back now, I guess hunger and being sick are few of the problems I can't laugh it off especially when it's not within my control.

To be honest, many things can make us unhappy or easily fustrated. However I believe at times, we can do something to improve our mood. Hmm I've thought of some tips. Haha but I didn't try all of them... so maybe someone might want to provide some feedback to these... =)

1) Do things you like and enables you to relax but have not done for a long time ~ Think less and relax more promotes better sleep and mood E.g.

a. Meeting with good friends and chit chat / drinks
b. Taking a break during mid-week and do nothing except relax e.g. having afternoon tea in café / coffee joint during weekday like tai tai

2) Do things that can unleash your frustration and unhappiness… nothing better than venting it out! E.g.

a. Exercise / Have a heavy workout! (Disadvantage: Muscle ache later)
b. Going to game arcade and have a showdown with your enemies
c. Install a dart board at your house and practice your aim on the photo pinned at the board (Just don't hit and spoil the wall)
d. Singing all the fast-paced and energetic songs in KTV
e. Partying out with khakis at places with music that makes you scream
f. Attending Jay Chou’s concert – you’ll love it -> the atmosphere, crowd and music ~ Screaming there is also the norm and legal.
g. Take amusement park rides ~ you can legally shout all your frustrations there and no one will think you are crazy.
h. Watch a sad movie and CRY ~ who will know if you are crying for the movie or yourself?

3) Do something emotional fulfilling by helping others (like me)… certainly makes you feel happy at heart!